Welcome to October and the month of Responsibility. As we move through the 2nd month of school, I begin to notice smoother transitions, but also still some extra hiccups as families work through getting their kiddos to school. If mornings are a struggle, consider these tips:
Establish Consistent Routines
- Consistency provides security. Create a consistent routine for morning and evening as well as school drop off and pick up.
- Have things prepped and ready the night before.
- Get enough sleep and allow ample time for the routine to unfold.
- Keep goodbyes short and upbeat. Consider having someone else do the drop off if they only have trouble separating with you.
- Anticipate setbacks. Mondays, returns from vacations and changes in routine may cause increased anxiety but continue to follow the routine.
Stay Calm and Offer Encouragement
- Stay calm. If you appear anxious or ask leading questions, then children may think that they are supposed to be anxious and that makes it even harder to separate.
- Offer encouragement and validate their feelings. Try saying, “It’s okay to feel nervous or scared right now. I know this is hard right now, and we can do hard things.”
- Focus on coping with anxiety. Your goal is to not remove the anxiety, but help them learn to cope with it.
Encourage Attendance and Build Coping Skills
- Avoiding the anxiety may bring short-term relief but it won’t fix it. Remember it is okay for your child to be upset They might not want to attend school but school is prepared to have a place for them to be when they are upset.
- Practice coping skills together. Just like learning to read and do math, we practice how to settle our bodies. The more we practice the better we are able to use this skill when needed.
- Practice regularly. It will build muscle memory.
- Help your child choose helpful thoughts. Squish the “automatic negative thought” patterns or ANTs. Our thoughts hold lots of impact on our feelings and actions.
- Offer two acceptable choices. For example, "Do you want to sit in that seat or the other seat?" Small choices give them the opportunity to feel a sense of control.
Build Connection and Independence
- Make a plan to reconnect. Pick something to look forward to sharing with each other at the end of the day.
- Stay connected during the day. Consider sending a small item from home they can keep in their pocket for comfort such as a picture, or a small inexpensive keepsake.
- Encourage independence. Help encourage them to make decisions and problem solve on their own.
- Encourage socialization. Help them build friendships with extra curricular activities or playdates.
- Partner with your teacher and school counselor. Share anything relevant and create a plan with them.
Stay positive! Have faith that they will get through this.
Mrs. Perry
